Invidia
by YulieAna
Summary: He resented her, he hated her for bringing him back into the life that he detested. Yet, the more he hated her, the stronger his lust grew. Post Ulquiorra death fic. Sexual scenes, but no explicit lemon.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

The sound of laughter finally caught his attention and Ulquiorra took his eyes away from his book looking at the all too familiar red head sitting on the grass surrounded by her friends. Orihime's shoulders shook with mirth as that tomboy friend of hers whispered something in her ear.

"He did WHAT?" she giggled.

"That's right!" Tatsuki smirked, "And then…" she leaned over and continued whispering with even more enthusiasm.

Ulquiorra shut his book and got off the bench picking up his bag. Humans annoyed him, plain and simple, their idleness, their stupidity, and their vices. Ever since he agreed to this ridiculous plan, he immediately wished he went to Soul Society instead. At least, it did not have _her_ in it. And more than anything, Ulquiorra wished to have less of _her_ in his life.

Ever since he met Inoue Orihime, he felt confused and jaded, his control was slipping, and the heavy sensation in the pit of his stomach kept returning whenever she was around. And just when he thought that the last couple of years of separation fixed it, he realized that nothing was fixed as soon as he laid eyes on her again.

Back in Las Noches, he often found himself standing outside of her door and just listening. Yet he couldn't understand why, but one thing was clear, it pissed him off. That woman was like a hurricane, a relentless force that stirred him, tormented him, and reminded him of the things he wanted but could not have. But what was worse, she made him question himself. His life was a void, but her presence turned on the light and opened up a window letting in a draft that turned everything upside down. Ulquiorra tried to shut it out, but imposing his views on her proved to be useless as the woman was tough and cunning. On the outside she looked timid and weak, but that was just a façade to hide a deep seeded defiance that even he couldn't break.

When he killed Kurosaki Ichigo, he thought that it was finished, he proved his point and his will was absolute. But the battle turned against him once more and he was completely defeated. Ulquiorra couldn't believe it; he couldn't accept that the humans got the best of him, _him_, a supreme being who surpassed them in everything. But facts were facts, and he was forced to admit his failure. And just when he thought that it was over, despite his resolve, he had to look at her again, immediately cursing himself for his weakness. She looked back with the sympathy he thought he would detest. But something stirred again making him reach for her, a force that he could not control that pulled them to each other like magnets. She reached back and then he thought he saw something, something that perhaps he was looking for, but before he could understand what it was, everything started to fade. And just when Ulquiorra thought he found peace, his hopes were shattered again. Nothing ever went the way he wanted, and he blamed _her_ for it. And now he was back to square one, gazing at her smiling face, the source of his unrest.

It all started two years ago after the winter war ended and all of the Espada were defeated and presumed dead. The Shinigami cheered throwing a celebration to commemorate their victory over Aizen and to forever condemn the already damned. Yet, something unexpected happened, something that even Soul Society could not foresee. Inoue Orihime. The woman surprised everyone by doing something completely unpredictable; she attempted to bring some of the fallen Arrancar back to life and actually succeeded at it. And before he knew it, Ulquiorra was standing in Urahara's shop next to Grimmjow, Nnoitra, and Szayel, facing a lot of angry Shinigami.

At that very moment the door flew open and she appeared before him smiling the same obnoxious smile that he wanted to wipe off her face. Suddenly, Ulquiorra knew why he was back. It was her, it was all the woman's doing and he cursed her for it. His one purpose was to serve Aizen, and now that he was dead, why did she bring him back? To mock his defeat? To have Soul Society use him for their twisted experiments? What did Inoue Orihime want from him?

But her answer wasn't something he had anticipated.

"Everyone needs a second chance." she said simply. "I didn't think you deserved that kind of fate."

And that's all there was to it.

But even though Soul Society was angry at her actions, their anger could not compare to Ulquiorra's fury. Did she actually pity him? More than anything he despised pity, especially from her. She witnessed his most pathetic moment, she saw him die, wasn't that enough for her? Why couldn't she let him go and continue with her life? What did she plan to accomplish by deciding his fate for him? And what was he supposed to do now?

And then Soul Society gave them a choice. They could either serve them in Seireitei or live in the human world under Urahara's watch, but that meant they would have to wear gigai that suppressed most of their reiatsu, virtually stripping them of all their power.

Grimmjow and Nnoitra yelled in protest. Szayel shook his head, and Ulquiorra remained silent. He should've been angry with their manipulations, but he did not care at all. His anger was now transferred elsewhere, and he was determined to pay _her_ back for this insolence. Ulquiorra never considered himself to be spiteful, prideful yes, but never spiteful. Holding grudges was beneath him. That was something that only the lower hollows would do, like Grimmjow. Yet, here he was bitter and angry, and he felt disgusted with himself. How could a mere human woman make him stoop so low?

"We'll take the deal." he finally said loud enough for everyone to hear, "We will live in the human world."

"Fuck you!" Grimmjow hissed, "I am not giving up my power for these shitheads!"

"A gigai does not take your power away; it suppresses it," Ulquiorra answered calmly, "But if you would rather live as a servant to the Shinigami, go ahead. I am staying here."

Grimmjow cursed under his breath, Nnoitra glared at him, Szayel nodded in agreement. And the next day, all three of them were moved to a large house across from the candy shop.

At first, the gigai was hard to adjust to. It limited his movement and coordination. He couldn't fly, move large objects, and smash through walls. And not only that, it made him look like _them_. Now, his skin had color, there were no tear marks, no hollow hole, and no helmet. The last remains of his identity were completely gone. But while his power was significantly limited, Ulquiorra was still stronger than an average human male. At least that was something to be comforted by.

* * *

One day, the door bell rang and _she_ was standing on the other side flashing him a smile. Ulquiorra felt his insides twist at the sight of her.

"Good morning!" Orihime said cheerfully and stepped inside without an invitation.

"What is it?" Ulquiorra responded with perfect indifference.

"Now that you are almost like a human, you need to adjust. So, I thought you and the rest would enroll into Karakura High and learn how to be like us."

Ulquiorra stared at her feeling his anger returning. Not only did she subject him to this existence, she also wanted him to fraternize with the trash. He had no intention of mixing himself up with human adolescents and their stupidity.

"I have no desire of going to your school."

"Why not? It will be fun and you can learn a lot."

_Are you mocking me?_

"My knowledge far surpasses the kind of education you receive there."

Orihime blinked twice before processing his words. Did he actually mean that he already knew everything they studied at school?

"It's ok if you already know the material. It will still be better than staying here all day."

"No." Ulquiorra said flatly.

Orihime's face fell at the finality in his words. There was absolutely no way to even negotiate with him. Ulquiorra was still difficult to deal with even after he became a human, sort of. And it would take a lot of work for him to change and learn the meaning of the word "flexibility". But right now it wasn't the time because he was still new to everything. Orihime was patient, she would wait and see.

Politely excusing herself, she stepped out of the house and started walking away without looking back. Ulquiorra was probably angry and he seemed uncomfortable around her. He needed space and she was going to give it to him, all the space he needed. But, the next time she came by, she will not take "no" for an answer.

Orihime did not return the next day, or the next week, or the next month. And Ulquiorra finally felt relief that he did not have to see her face. The woman irritated him, sometimes to the point of insanity, and it took a lot of self-control not to push her against the wall and…. And what? What was he planning to do to her afterwards? If he was still an Espada, he would've been able to seriously hurt her, and even kill her without much effort. But did he really want to do it to her? What would it accomplish aside from angering the Shinigami and getting himself arrested? No, physical violence was out of the question, and neither did he find it tasteful unless it was absolutely necessary. Distancing himself from her was the only option, and perhaps after seeing that he had no intention of humoring her whims, she would give up on the idea of being his friend.

And that's how it was for the next two years. Orihime never bothered him and he only sometimes saw glimpses of the red hair when her and her friends came to visit Urahara across the street. Other than that, Ulquiorra and the rest of the former Espada were free to do whatever they wanted. He read books and learned how to use the computer and Internet. Such primitive beings like humans sure had a lot of trends that he needed to understand. Then, he spent hours in the gym room making sure that his muscles did not become weak. There was no point doing it since he wasn't an Espada anymore, but old warrior habits died hard. Soul Society never bothered them and they kept to themselves trying to avoid any unnecessary confrontations with Kurosaki Ichigo and his friends. Everything was fine until one day it finally happened.

"Soul Society has been generous with providing the accommodations for the four of you for the last two years." Urahara said standing in the middle of their living room, "But now that you've learned the human ways and adjusted to your new life, some changes will be made."

"What kind of changes?" Ulquiorra asked.

"You look like healthy young adults and you will start living like ones. Coming this September, all of you will begin attending the Karakura Town University."

"What the hell?" Grimmjow glared at him, "Why the fuck do we need to do that?"

"Because that's what humans do. They get an education and find suitable jobs afterwards." Urahara smiled, "Besides, Kurosaki Ichigo and the rest of his friends are starting college this year as well, and they will attend the same university as you. It might do you some good to be nice to each other," he hesitated, "for mutual growth."

"This is ridiculous…" Ulquiorra murmured.

Not only will he have to be around the annoying humans, but there was a good chance he would run into _her_ again. And just the thought made his blood boil. Inoue Orihime, the same person who brought him into this wretched existence, and whom he spent the last two years trying to erase from his memory.

"You can't spend all of your time doing nothing." Urahara continued, "You chose to assimilate into this world and you need to start living like them. Perhaps going to high school, when Inoue made the offer, would've been a wise choice giving you an opportunity to socialize, but it's better late than never."

"_I _did not choose this," Grimmjow yelled angrily, "_He_ chose it for all of us." He said pointing at Ulquiorra.

"It doesn't matter. The admission papers have already been submitted and your acceptance is finalized."

"I can't believe this…" Grimmjow muttered in frustration.

"Hold on, I actually like the idea." Szayel said to the surprise of his comrades. "Think of it as an experiment, a way to see how much we've really learned and a chance to pick on something that we missed."

"What do we need to study?" Nnoitra asked.

"Whatever you want." Urahara answered, "A university is a place where humans get to experiment with different subjects and find out what they like best. You will do the same."

"I already know what that asshole is going to study." Nnoitra said pointing at Szayel.

Ulquiorra ignored them, putting his hands into his pockets and coming to stand by the window. He was a fool for thinking that Soul Society would let them live like this indefinitely, that Inoue Orihime would remain nothing more than a remnant of a long lost memory. It was obvious that eventually he would have to come to terms with his resentment towards her and accept it, just like the fact that he would one day have to see her again. And right now it was pointless to dwell on it. He made a mistake once allowing her to ignite unwelcome emotions within him; and he will not make the same mistake again.

* * *

The distant sound of her laughter brought him out of his thoughts. Even though he walked away from her, he could still hear it, the same infectious sound that followed her everywhere. It's been two months since their first semester started, and Ulquiorra found himself having three classes with her. How was it possible? They had different interests, different majors, different everything, yet by some cruel twist of fate he had to spend almost every day with the person he could barely tolerate.

Inoue Orihime was nineteen years old now. She was a full grown woman who still maintained some of her teenage charm that most males found attractive. She joked, laughed, and flirted with them, yet never involved herself with anyone, even after her infatuation with Kurosaki Ichigo came to a closing halt. The childish school uniform was replaced by a stylish wardrobe and makeup. She wore miniskirts and jeans that hugged every curve of her voluptuous figure. And whenever Ulquiorra looked at her, his gaze lingered on her lips covered with shinny lip-gloss, full, wet, red lips. The damn woman did everything to be noticed by him.

And notice her he did, her long legs, her curvy figure, her auburn hair, and the seductive movement of her hips as she walked. Ulquiorra noticed it all, and with each passing heartbeat his resentment grew even stronger. But no matter how much he hated her, Orihime was never rude to him. She smiled, offered help, and even sat next to him in every damn class they had together. Every time she walked into the room, everything came to life. She waved, greeted her friends, and chatted happily with the classmates, completely unaware of the effect she had when she crossed her legs while wearing a miniskirt.

And every time she crossed her legs, Ulquiorra was in a foul mood. He never talked much, but at that moment he did not talk at all or gave her very curt and dismissive replies. She did not understand his behavior, and sometimes seemed even hurt, yet Orihime never held it against him for too long and went back to her usual happy self in no time. Ulquiorra was disgusted by that. He wanted to hurt her, to make her detest him, to have her switch seats and never talk to him again. But no matter what he did, she never changed her attitude towards him which made it even harder to be near her.

He did not want this life, he did not ask for it, yet _she_ brought him back turning him into something that he always looked down on. She made him sacrifice his power for his freedom, she made him learn things that he already knew, she made him weak just like all of those wretched humans and he could not stand it. Yet, Ulquiorra never showed his true feelings, even to his housemates. It was his own weight to bear, and he only hoped that with time it would get easier.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Orihime rested her chin on the palm of her hand looking around the library. The students were pouring in and out, chatting, studying, browsing the net, and doing absolutely nothing. She's just finished her project and there was still an hour left before the class. And with nothing left to do, she was bored out of her mind. When the assignment was announced, Orihime was really looking forward to doing it, but Ulquiorra seemed weary and tired.

_I wonder if he had any problems with it. _

At that moment she wanted to ask if he needed help, but Orihime quickly changed her mind thinking that it would not be welcomed. Since the semester started, Ulquiorra was strangely reserved around her. Unlike his attitude in Las Noches, he never talked to her anymore, never asked her any questions, and it seemed like he was trying to avoid her most of the time. At first, Orihime thought that maybe he had trouble adjusting; maybe it was just a matter of time, but no matter how much she tried to be nice to him, to make him feel comfortable, his behavior towards her never changed.

She studied the people around her, and then her gaze stopped on a figure walking a short distance away. Their eyes met and she managed a faint smile motioning for him to come and sit next to her, but Ulquiorra only gave her a curt nod and walked into the opposite direction.

Orihime bit her lip gathering her courage, then picked up her bag and ran after him.

"Hey you." she said sinking into a chair across the table from him.

"Hi." Ulquiorra answered without lifting his eyes from his book.

"Did you finish the project?"

"Yes."

"Did you have any trouble with it?"

"No."

She gave an exasperated sigh feeling herself getting annoyed. Ulquiorra was purposely rude to her and she was already fed up with it. Taking a text book out of the bag, Orihime threw it loudly on the table. But, Ulquiorra did not so much as flinch.

"Ok, then! Let's hear it." She said opening it up, "_And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare / As any she belied with false compare._(i) What did I just read?"

Ulquiorra finally raised his eyes to her. "You read about love."

"What _is_ love?" she persisted.

"A feeling of attachment you humans like to romanticize in your stories." he answered dispassionately.

Orihime shook her head in disbelief.

"You really are amazing," she said leaning forward, "You talk about things, that you know nothing about, as if you've been experiencing them your whole life."

Unbeknownst to her, the close proximity did not remain unnoticed by Ulquiorra. He moved back in his chair studying her, his gaze roamed from her hair to her face to the top with a V-shaped neck exposing a subtle cleavage. If he didn't know any better, he would've thought that she was doing it on purpose. But despite Orihime's looks and playful attitude, she was still clueless about a lot of things, especially the effect her presence had on him.

"Then tell me." His face was unreadable, and it was hard to tell whether he was serious or not. But despite her doubts, Orihime wanted to believe that he was genuine.

"Love is not just an attachment," she said, "It's affection, concern, passion, sexual attraction, desire to be with that person."

"It sounds complicated."

"No!" she giggled, "You see…."

"Orihime!" a voice interrupted her.

Orihime turned her head and waved. Soon, a cheery brunette approached their table and eyed Ulquiorra with interest.

"Who is your friend?" She asked looking at Orihime.

"This is Ulquiorra." Orihime said then pointed at the brunette, "And this is my friend, Rei."

"Oh! Ulquiorra, what an exotic name!" Rei smiled at him seductively, "It's a _pleasure_ to meet you! Are you guys dating?"

That last bit almost made him cringe. Ulquiorra stuffed his books into his bag and got up.

"I am going to class."

"Aw, what a shame." Rei perked her lips in disappointment.

But he did not pay any attention to her. Without saying good-bye, he glanced at Orihime for the last time and turned to leave.

"Oh my god, who is the hunk?" Rei demanded as soon as Ulquiorra was gone.

"Just somebody I know." Orihime answered hesitantly.

"He isn't your boyfriend, is he?"

"No!" she said quickly, "No, he isn't, why?"

"Because he is gorgeous! Do you mind if I try him out?"

"You shouldn't. Ulquiorra isn't sociable and he is…" she paused,"…new in town."

That was a bit of an exaggeration since Ulquiorra has been living here for the past two years, but her friend's eagerness made Orihime a bit worried. Rei was pushy when it came to men and got excited every time she saw a good-looking one. But Ulquiorra wasn't just another guy she could twist around her little finger and use for her pleasure. He was different from everyone and Orihime knew very well why. He wasn't nice, or kind, or patient. He wouldn't be able to comfort her when she felt down, to support her when she needed help, or to love her. He was like a rock, cold, hard, and emotionless. And little had changed about him since her experience in Las Noches.

Rei narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Are you sure you aren't interested in him? Because if you are…"

"I am sure." Orihime insisted.

Falling in love with him was treading into a dangerous territory that Orihime did not want. Despite noticing his physical looks, convincing herself that they could be nothing but friends was the best choice for everyone. Ulquiorra was still a mystery to her, and a dangerous one, even after they've known each other for so long. Yet, understanding why Rei wanted him was easy. It wasn't just her, but a lot of girls found him attractive. Ulquiorra was well built, had nice skin, striking features, and long dark hair. To her greatest surprise, instead of being insulted, girls blushed at his unapproachable attitude and continued chasing after him, making Orihime wonder what was so special about him. He wasn't the only good-looking guy at school after all. But it didn't bother her as much as his treatment of her, and the more she thought about it, the more she wanted to know why he kept giving her the cold shoulder.

* * *

The encounter at the library was more than he wanted, granted he would have to spend two more hours sitting next to her, having her talking to him, asking questions, and smelling her perfume. Ulquiorra did not understand what was wrong with him. She was just a woman, and that's exactly what he tried to convince himself of back in Las Noches. A human woman who ignited feelings and desires that he did not recognize, throwing him completely into the unknown. He went through hell and beyond dying, becoming a hollow, an Arrancar, and then Aizen's servant. He fought and killed opponents that were bigger and stronger than him. He bled and suffered the kind of despair that nobody had ever seen even in their worst nightmares. Yet, here he was completely overpowered by a woman. And it wasn't just any woman, but _her_. It was always her. She managed to get to him, undo his resolve, and breach his defenses in just a matter of days. He should've told her to leave as soon as she approached him, or he should've left himself. Yet, as if falling under a spell, he stayed and indulged her in a conversation about something he had no use for, pretending to be only mildly interested. And what was worse, Ulquiorra actually _cared_ to know what she had to say. Inoue Orihime smiled and chatted with him like they were friends, and little did she know what went on inside his head, what he thought, what he felt, and what he imagined.

Right that minute, Ulquiorra wanted to reach out, grab her by the shoulders and shake her. He wanted to shake her until everything fell off and she was bare, vulnerable, and afraid. He wanted to wipe that smile off her face, to see the panic in her eyes, and have her whisper his name in fear. Back in Las Noches, he tried everything to make her be afraid of him. He threatened her with violence if she did not eat, he told her that her friends would die, he fought Kurosaki Ichigo right in front of her, and he _killed_ him, yet she never shattered and never looked away. Perhaps, if she was afraid of him, Ulquiorra would've seen her differently, like one of the many faceless victims he met in his lifetime. But no matter what he did to her, she looked him bravely in the eye and did not break. And right now he saw the same familiar defiance behind the carefree smile that he wanted to destroy. Only then would he be able to regain his control that she kept taking away, a wisp of a girl who made him hate and envy her at the same time. And with each passing day his envy and lust were growing into something big and incomprehensible, promising to spill over and consume him at any moment.

He envied her because of her ability to live through all of the horrors, tragedy, and death that they had experienced together. He envied her because she was able to get over Hueco Mundo and move on, but he couldn't. He couldn't adjust to this life and put his former existence to rest, and he couldn't get her out of his mind and view her just like everyone else. There was always something special about her that made him want to crawl out of his skin and howl at the moon. She was not his, but Ulquiorra felt disgusted every time he saw her flirting with other men for reasons that he could not even begin to comprehend, making him want to snatch and lock her up away from everyone.

The last class finally ended and everyone started heading out of the room. As soon as he stepped outside, he came face to face with the woman whom he met in the library.

"There you are!" Rei beamed at him. "My class ended early so I decided to wait for you here. Do you guys want to grab something to eat?" she looked at Orihime coming up to them.

"Oh, I can't." Orihime said, "We have a test tomorrow so I need to review." then she turned and waved at one of the male classmates.

Ulquiorra felt his stomach twist at her excessive friendliness with other men.

"As you wish." was all he said.

"Don't you need to study?" Orihime asked, being taken aback by his answer. She was expecting him to decline, or simply walk away, but he agreed without question.

"No." Ulquiorra answered seeing the look of disappointment on her face. Even if it was only for a moment, even if it was fleeting, he felt satisfied. "Let's go." he turned to Rei and started walking away.

Rei caught up with him and unceremoniously grabbed him by the arm, turning around and winking at Orihime. Ulquiorra did not even bother pulling away, and continued walking with his hands in his pockets. She was a complete stranger, a nobody, yet, he seemed to treat her with more familiarity and tolerance, and it made Orihime's heart sink.

Her cell phone rang snapping her out of her thoughts.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Inoue, this is Urahara, come to my shop as soon as you can. There is someone here who wants to see you."

Half an hour later she was standing in his living room and waiting. The door opened and a woman came in smiling at her. Orihime looked at her, her expression changing from surprise, to disbelief, to, finally, relief.

"Nel!" she yelled running up and pulling her into a hug. "It's been such a long time! How have you been?"

"Great!" She laughed, "It looks like I will be going to the same school with you guys."

"Oh really? That's amazing! And where will you live?"

"Over there!" Nel pointed through the window at the house across the street. "With the rest of them."

"Oh…" Orihime's face fell, "It means I won't be able to visit you very often."

"Hey, cheer up." Nel said touching her chin, "Surely, it's not as awful there as you imagine. Or did they do something to you?"

"No, they didn't. It's just…" she paused looking out of the window, "Why would Ulquiorra hate me? I didn't do anything to him. No matter how much I am trying to be nice and friendly, he keeps avoiding me for reasons I don't understand."

"They are very proud," Nel answered, "Their pride and identity as the Espada was all they knew. So, after being stripped off that power and thrown into a completely different life made it hard for them to accept it."

"Do you think Ulquiorra hates me because I brought him back?"

"I don't know for sure. All I can advise you is to talk to him. Ulquiorra might be proud, but he is not irrational."

* * *

Four days later Orihime stood in front of the big house trying to gather what little courage she had left. For the past couple of days Ulquiorra completely ignored her and always went somewhere with Rei, who kept magically appearing as soon as their classes ended, and leaving Orihime no opportunity to talk to him in private. Coming here was probably not the best idea, but she could not think of any other way. School was the best place where it was safer for everyone, but anything was better where Rei wasn't around.

Finally putting her fears aside, Orihime slowly raised her hand and rang the bell.

"Hey, chick, haven't see you around." Grimmjow said as soon as he opened the door.

"Is Ulquiorra home?" she asked reluctantly.

"Yeah, he just got back from a date with some broad."

"Date?"

"The fuck do I know? Go and ask him yourself!"

Orihime wearily climbed up the stairs and walked through the corridor stopping in front of Ulquiorra's door. She held her breath listening to the muffled sounds coming from the inside, praying that he would not kick her out as soon as he saw her. And as if sensing her presence, the door opened, and he stood on the other side staring at her.

"May I come in?" Orihime asked timidly. "I need to talk to you."

Ulquiorra hesitated for a moment then stepped aside letting her in.

"What do you want?" he asked closing the door behind him.

"So, you were on a date, huh?" Orihime asked trying to manage a nervous smile.

"That's what you humans call it." he answered in a monotone.

"Rei is your girlfriend then. You must like her a lot."

"Indeed." He said tonelessly coming up to stand in front of her."Did you come here to inquire about my private life?"

"It's not that. It's just… you are new to the whole dating thing. And I thought you needed an advice. You know….how to…"

"I don't."

Orihime could've sworn she saw a flash of annoyance on his face.

"But, I thought Arrancar did not date."

"They don't."

She gave him a puzzled look. "Then how do you know how to…" then abruptly stopped feeling herself blush.

"I've done it before."

Her blush deepened. "I'm sorry, I thought that Arrancar did not need to, because…"

"Just like humans, Arrancar have sex to satisfy their physical needs. If that's what you were implying."

"You don't mean that you and Rei already…?"

"That's none of your concern. Was that all you wanted to talk about?"

"No." she said looking down at her hands. "I came here to talk about us."

"Meaning?"

"I was thinking about it a lot, and I couldn't come up with any reasonable explanation. So I had to ask you in person." she paused, "Why do you hate me?"

"I do not." he lied.

"Then what is wrong? Back in Las Noches you always talked to me about things that had nothing to do with your mission. You came, you asked me questions, and right now you barely look at me. I thought that back then, despite the circumstances, you might've even liked me a little. And now I don't know anymore. Was I wrong?"

Ulquiorra did not answer right away. He kept staring her, his eyes searching hers, but did not say a word. And the longer he kept silent, the edgier she got.

"Is it because I brought you back?" she asked in a shaky voice.

"Why did you bring me back?" He asked quietly.

"I told you, I did not think you deserved to die that way."

"So, you pitied me."

"No! When you died, I just…I just… I couldn't get you out of my head. No matter what you did, I could never bring myself to hate you. And I don't know why. There must be something wrong with me."

"I killed your friend right in front of you, the man you imagined yourself to be in love with, and you still did not resent me after that. There _is_ something wrong with you."

Orihime realized that it would not be easy to get through to him, Ulquiorra was proud and stubborn. But she never thought that he would be so unyielding, yet there was no turning back now.

Without thinking, she brought her hands up to his chest looking him straight in the eye. "I am sorry we had to go through all of that on the dome, but I am not sorry that I brought you back. If you resent me because this is not what you wanted, then I hope that one day you can find something that you might love and finally forgive me."

She felt him exhaling sharply while his hands slightly touched her waist. "The next time think of the consequences before you do something like this again." then his hands fell to his sides, "Now, get out."

"Ulqui—"

"Get. Out." he repeated more forcefully.

Orihime took a step backwards not bothering to hide her hurt. Ulquiorra did not even want to give her a chance, letting his own feelings of resentment completely cloud everything else. She silently picked up her bag and walked towards the door only to stop and glance back at him. Ulquiorra did not turn to look at her. He stood rigid where she left him waiting for her to exit.

"I'm sorry." he heard her whisper and then the door shut behind her.

A few seconds ticked after she left, then he put his hands into his pockets and went to stand by the window watching her exit the house and head out on the street. If Orihime stayed a moment longer, he didn't know what he would've done. Usually calm and collected, Ulquiorra felt his whole body stiffen as soon as she touched him, immediately cursing his inability to reject her. It wasn't about the fact that his skin burned, or that his heart raced, or that he was hard. It was about what he wanted to do to her and it made him sick. As soon as Orihime touched him, Ulquiorra wanted nothing more but to push himself inside of her, and keep thrusting until she called out his name. He wanted to hear it from her lips, her moans, her submission, completely stripping her off that pretense and virtue that she wore for everyone to see, and leave nothing behind but her nakedness for him to devour.

He never had these kinds of thoughts about anyone, even the Arrancar that he had freely in Hueco Mundo. Sex did not involve any emotions and feelings of attachment, and most importantly, his desires never turned into an obsession about one single person. Life as an Arrancar was simple and primitive. He never did it more than once with one partner, and had whoever he wanted and whenever he wanted it without holding himself back. But this girl completely took his will and common sense, filling his head with thoughts that he never believed he was capable of, and leaving him wanting and burning with raw lust that kept pushing him to the edge.

* * *

(i) Excerpt from Shakespearean sonnet 130


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

He walked into an eerie room seeing nine familiar figures scattered around it, watching each other. Their faces were hidden in the shadows yet somehow he knew who they were. They were like him, searching for something, looking for a sign, waiting to serve their god who promised them salvation.

_Remember your mission, remember your duty, remember your savior._

Suddenly, the room faded away and he found himself among the green, coming face to face with a girl. She glared at him extending her arms forward and summoned some strange light. He didn't know what she said and why she seemed mad, yet he noticed that unlike the other figures, her face was wide open for him to see. He took a few steps closer, but she suddenly started to fade only to reappear again in a different place wearing something similar to his clothes. This time she wasn't upset but looked at him with a kind of melancholy that turned the world to dark.

Ulquiorra opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. He rarely had dreams about Hueco Mundo, but when he did they were vivid. Sometimes he saw Orihime talking, yelling, crying, and sometimes it was just Aizen and the Espada. He did not know what those dreams meant and why he had them, but being in a human gigai probably contributed to this strange phenomena.

He got up to get dressed, then went downstairs hearing distant voices coming from the kitchen. Nnoitra and Grimmjow were arguing about something, Szayel read a book looking up at them from time to time, and Nel ate breakfast silently observing the scene in front of her.

"Stop it you two," she said between bites, "You are causing too much noise."

"Bullshit!" Grimmjow said loudly, "We are gonna settle this once and for all!"

Ulquiorra watched them putting their elbows on the table and clasping their hands together, then took a bottle of water out of the refrigerator.

"Neliel!" Nnoitra yelled, "Who are you rooting for?"

"Nobody," She answered without interest looking down at her food, "Both of you are weaker than me."

"You are pissing me off." he glared at her. "I thought I told you to watch!"

Ignoring him, she silently finished her meal and got up heading for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to run some errands, and then," she glanced at Ulquiorra, "I am meeting with Orihime."

For a mere moment she thought she saw his arm freeze in mid-air as he brought the bottle to his mouth, then took a sip and continued casually observing everyone around him.

_Interesting._ She came up to stand next to him until Ulquiorra looked at her in silent expectation.

"Is there anything I should tell her?" she asked. "Any personal messages?"

"No."

Nel studied him with curiosity. For someone who was dying to get his hands on that woman, he was very good at hiding it.

"Really?" she teased, "Aren't you the least bit concerned about a friend who looked like she was about to cry the last time you saw her?"

"Neliel," he said in slight irritation, "Whatever happened between Inoue Orihime and I is none of your business. Stay out of it."

"We'll see." she smirked watching Ulquiorra scowling at her.

Without bothering to argue any further, he walked past her and headed back to his room.

After their encounter, Orihime did not speak to him anymore. There were no more curious glances and awkward conversations. As soon as the lectures ended, she quietly got up and left the room without so much as an acknowledgment. And no longer did she follow him around and called to him in the library. Yet, instead of being satisfied, Ulquiorra felt pissed off.

He stepped into the shower turning on the water and stood with his palms pressed against the wall in front of him. No matter what he did nothing worked. At first, he thought that his desire for Orihime would go away as soon as another woman came along. It was always like that in Hueco Mundo. Every time he felt lust, it was instantly satisfied after an encounter with another Arrancar, and when he was finished, he moved on. But this was different. Ulquiorra has been doing what they called "dating" for a month now, and Rei was pretty, available, and willing. Yet, no matter how often they got together, Orihime still found a way into his head. This wasn't just about a simple desire anymore but something bigger that was completely beyond him. He wanted to get rid of it, but everything seemed to be useless. She was just a woman, no different from others, yet she stood out in the crowd like a sore thumb reminding him of his greatest transgression, the lust that became his undoing.

The loud banging on the door finally caught his attention. Unwillingly he shut off the water, put a towel around his waist and opened the door. Rei stood on the other side pouting at him.

"What took you so long?" she complained putting her arms around his neck. "I was getting worried that you drowned there."

"You came early." Ulquiorra said without moving.

"I know. I wanted to surprise you."

Slowly he pulled her arms away from him and walked back into the room.

"You haven't been answering my calls lately. Is everything alright?" Rei asked following behind.

"Everything is fine." he answered curtly without so much as looking at her.

She pressed her lips together in slight irritation and gave an exasperated sigh. Ulquiorra was not going to get away from her that easily. He was a tough nut to crack, but not tough enough against some things or so she thought. Quietly, Rei came from behind and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Don't get dressed." she whispered as her hand slid down his abdomen.

* * *

Orihime twirled around in front of a mirror examining her outfit. Today she was finally able to put her bad mood aside and get out to do something fun. Nel took her out to lunch, then the movies, and now she was in a chic store looking at a dress that her companion talked her into trying on.

"You look really pretty." Nel peeked from behind examining her in the mirror, "He will think so too."

"Who?" Orihime asked absentmindedly still looking at her reflection.

"Ulquiorra."

"Don't joke like that. You know he hates me."

Nel shook her head in exasperation. "How can he hate you if he doesn't even know what is wrong with him?"

"There is nothing wrong with him." Orihime insisted, "He is just upset that I forced him into something he had no say in. That's why he can't stand me."

Nel frowned at her in the mirror. "Despite your popularity with the guys, you really are clueless about some things. With Ulquiorra nothing is black and white and you've already seen it in Hueco Mundo. And refusing to admit it is not going to solve anything."

Orihime turned around to look at her. "But he didn't even want to listen to me, not even giving me a chance to explain! What am I supposed to think if he just kicked me out? I was there! He had so much resentment, it made me feel ill."

Nel smiled in reassurance. Ulquiorra might've been unwilling to accept the change, but she knew who had the power to turn him around. Despite his coldness and indifference, she could still see subtle changes every time Orihime was brought up, and Nel was almost convinced that his feelings were a lot more than just resentment.

"After spending some time among the humans," she said, "I noticed that they are very perceptive about some very important things, including their feelings. So, from what I've learned, I will tell you this, there is a very thin line between love and hate. And if you really want to know the truth, try to see what's beyond the face."

Orihime slowly nodded in resignation. "I know what you mean. But he said some really hurtful things and I don't even know what to expect from him anymore. What should I do?"

"Wait and see. He might be upset today, but he will get over it tomorrow. And as soon as he realizes that you will not be there forever, something might happen."

"How do you know this?"

"I've seen it. And I also know that whatever Ulquiorra feels is something other than hate."

* * *

A tingling sensation against his skin finally woke him up. Ulquiorra opened his eyes seeing Rei bending over him and running a finger up and down his chest. It's been hours since she came and he already expected her to be gone. Yet, she showed no signs of wanting to leave.

"Well, hello. Look who is finally awake." she purred into his ear.

"I have some business to attend to." Ulquiorra said sitting up and turning away from her. "Get yourself dressed."

"What's your hurry? It's such a nice day. I thought we could do something together."

"Today is not possible. I have to leave."

Rei fell back into the pillows watching him putting his clothes on. Despite his somewhat dismissive attitude, Ulquiorra never treated her badly, yet he still showed no desire of wanting to warm up and to open up to her which she found very strange. He always ended their time together abruptly and simply left. And while Rei enjoyed being with him, his certain patterns started to irritate her. He never asked what she did during her spare time and what kind of people she had in her life. No boyfriend had ever been this cold, and the more she wondered, the more she thought about their initial meeting where he sat together with Inoue Orihime.

"You know, I wanted to ask you something." she finally said after a long moment of silence, "Have you known Orihime for long?"

Ulquiorra stopped at the mention of the name and turned his head sideways to look at her.

"I've known her for several years."

Rei did not respond right away expecting him to say more but after realizing that she had to drag it out of him, she rolled her eyes and sat up.

"And? Can you elaborate?"

"She was…" he paused gathering his thoughts, "a guest at my former master's house."

"Your _master_?" Rei repeated, "Do you mean like a dojo?"

Ulquiorra wasn't keen on making up stories, but he knew that telling her the truth would only make her laugh at him. And he had no intention of creating a spectacle out of himself in front of a human.

"Correct."

Rei eyed him suspiciously. Ulquiorra was obviously unwilling to talk about Orihime, and the more he resisted the more she figured that there was something going on.

"What was she doing there? Was she your master's relative? Another martial artist?"

"She was brought there for temporary stay until her friends came to get her."

Rei frowned. "The story is getting weirder by the minute. Why did her friends need to get her?"

"What is the point of this conversation?" He asked brusquely, "The past is done with and I wish not to talk about it anymore."

"Uh huh." Rei smirked, "Did you have a thing for her?"

He put his hands into his pockets and came to stand at the foot of the bed looking down at her.

"This has nothing to do with you. You are asking too many questions."

"I knew it!" she exclaimed, "Something happened between you two, didn't it?"

"Enough. I have no intention of revisiting my past."

"I don't care! The less you want to talk about her the more I am convinced that something is off. Were you in love with her? Did you two go out?"

_What is love? Love is not just an attachment._

Damn it. He had to be reminded again why he did not want to talk and even think about Inoue Orihime. What he felt for her in Hueco Mundo was eating him to the point of intentionally abandoning his mission and seeking a senseless fight with Kurosaki Ichigo that ended in a tragedy. That woman was his shadow that even followed him into the second life, and no matter where he went and whom he met, she refused to release her hold on him.

"This conversation is over." he snapped and walked out of the room.

But Ulquiorra didn't go too far, only stopping after several steps down the corridor. Something as obvious as this should've been seen from a mile away. He should've been anticipating it from the start, as soon as he laid eyes on her again. How could he be such a fool for not realizing it sooner?

_Love is not just an attachment._ Orihime's words rang in his head. _It's affection, concern, passion, sexual attraction, desire to be with that person._

For the longest time he tried to convince himself that this was nothing more but sexual attraction that somehow went wrong. That if he met someone else along the way, it would go away. But Rei did not fix anything, instead she only opened his eyes revealing something that he absolutely did not want to accept. Love was just a foolish emotion that humans liked to exaggerate and Ulquiorra never gave it much thought. But now he knew why Inoue Orihime put so much faith into it. It turned something as primitive as lust into a powerful need for one single person that sex could never satisfy, that Rei could never satisfy. And every time he was in bed with her, he knew that he wanted another to be in her place.

Ulquiorra closed his eyes as the realization finally settled in. He was absolutely and completely in love with Inoue Orihime. There was no denying or running away from it. And neither would he even try. This was the price for his redemption that both set him free and chained him up again. And none of it happened overnight and by chance. All of this already started back in Hueco Mundo and continued spinning out of control until it was too late to stop it.

* * *

Orihime yawned tiredly. The long day with Nel was both fun and exhausting. They walked all over the shopping district stopping at every store but she barely bought anything, save for one dress. And now it was getting dark and home was still a while away, yet she made no attempt to hurry. Nel's words went through her mind bringing back the old anxiety, and even though at that time she felt better, still, nothing was resolved and Orihime had no idea how to deal with it.

_Whatever Ulquiorra feels is something other than hate._

It was all very reassuring, but Nel refused to tell her more, saying that she would have to figure it out on her own. But Orihime was tired of not knowing, receiving Ulquiorra's cold stare, and thinking about him together with Rei.

For some reason, she had a nagging feeling about the two of them dating. It wasn't jealousy, or so she told herself, but the thought of him being with someone else was unnerving. She didn't know why it made her feel this way. Perhaps it was because she got used to him always being alone, while she was the only one brave enough to approach him. But now there was Rei, and Ulquiorra had to be shared. Orihime did not like it.

What if he told Rei something about his past? What if she managed to understand him the same way too? And what if he let her? For some strange reason Orihime wanted to be the only one Ulquiorra shared his secrets with, but now there was another in his life who was important to him. And it made Orihime feel sad and rejected. Ulquiorra wasn't even someone she could freely call a friend, but he was the only one who had a glimpse into her heart, who was allowed to see the truth about her. And now he was slowly slipping away and she felt discarded and replaced.

The sun finally set and the street lights started to illuminate everything in sight. Orihime looked ahead and increased her pace. It was really getting late, and she wished the bus station was closer. Suddenly her gaze stopped. He was walking right in front of her, a few dozen feet away. Despite all of the people around, she knew that it was him. Hands in his pockets, long steady steps, and a perfectly straight back, unmistakably, it was Ulquiorra.

Orihime did not even notice that she passed by her bus stop and continued walking, never taking her eyes off of him. She did not know why, but she wanted to follow, to see where he was going and what he was doing now that he led a human life. She did not even pay attention to how much time passed and where she was, concentrating on only one thing right in front of her. Every time he moved his head to the side, Orihime held her breath hoping that he wouldn't notice her. But Ulquiorra never gave any signs of seeing her and continued walking with her closely behind.

And a moment later Orihime saw him rounding a corner and disappearing behind a building. Without realizing what she was doing, she started running, hoping that she would not lose him. But as soon as she ran around the same building, she stopped dead in her tracks staring into a pair of green eyes scowling down at her.

"What are you doing following me?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"What are you doing following me?"

Orihime gasped, reflexively taking a cautious step backwards. Ulquiorra stood motionless towering over her, the scowl never leaving his face. Her mind raced trying to come up with an excuse to get her out of this ridiculous situation. Should she admit that she was following him on purpose or pretend that she did not know what he was talking about? Would he even believe her? While other guys bought every word she said as soon as she batted an eyelash or gave a flirty smile, these games were of no interest to him, and surely Ulquiorra wouldn't think highly of her if she tried them on him.

"I asked you a question." he said again.

"I'm sorry!" Orihime yelped.

She was prepared to apologize, to swear that she would never do it again if only he did not look at her with such contempt. But Ulquiorra did not move a muscle and continued studying her in awkward silence. The flood of ridicule was inevitable and she braced herself feeling very small and insignificant under his cold stare. _I am such an idiot._ Not only did she miss the last bus home, but now there were blisters all over her feet that itched and burned and made her feel miserable. _What was I thinking?_

Orihime shifted her weight uncomfortably from one foot to another, finally finding courage to speak.

"I really did not mean any harm. Please forget this ever happened. I'll be going now." she managed lamely then slowly turned and started walking away only to realize that she was limping.

"Take off your shoes." Ulquiorra's voice rang from behind.

Orihime turned her head back to him raising her eyes brows in question.

"You will not get far in that condition. Take off your shoes."

"But…"

"It's warm enough."

Obediently, she bent down and slipped out of her sandals, then threw them into her bag. Ulquiorra was right. It was warm and the cool asphalt felt nice against her injured feet.

Ulquiorra looked at her retreating figure feeling himself being pulled into two directions. The realization of his feelings told him to turn around and walk away. The woman did not feel the same and probably viewed him as one of her many friends. Yet, she still got under his skin and made him believe in ridiculous things and dare to hope for more. He had convinced himself that there was no use for this sentimentality and he would not chase after her, yet, here she was alone in the dark and the thought of leaving her by herself tagged at his heart strings.

"Let's go." he said walking past her.

"Where are we going?"

"I am taking you home."

"You don't have to do it! Really! I don't want to cause you any trouble."

He tilted his head to the side and glanced back at her showing that there was no room for negotiation. Orihime gulped nervously and followed after him.

They walked in silence and she noticed that his right hand was out of his pocket and only an inch away from hers. But instead of moving away to keep a safe distance, she walked right next to him letting her left arm hang at her side and softly collide with his. Orihime should've been embarrassed by such close proximity, but instead she felt excitement at the prospect of holding hands with him. And the more she felt his skin against hers, the longer she let her hand linger.

From the corner of her eye she snuck a glance at Ulquiorra, who looked ahead of him with an unreadable expression on his face. Orihime couldn't even tell if he noticed the subtle intrusion and, admittedly, she wanted a reaction from him, a look, a touch, something that proved that he felt it. But he either did not pay attention or simply ignored her. She tried starting a conversation, but he either gave a curt reply or a nod that left no room for much else, and they walked the rest of the way lost in their own thoughts.

"Here we are!" Orihime tried to sound cheerful as they neared the front of her apartment building.

Ulquiorra watched her in silence expecting her to say her last good-bye and go inside, yet she stood smiling at him without moving a muscle.

In reality, Orihime wanted an excuse for him to stay, to make him talk to her, to break through that cold indifference. "You must be tired from such a long walk," she said with a bit of uncertainty "Would you like to come up and relax for a bit?"

He regarded her skeptically before speaking again.

But, without waiting for his answer, Orihime grabbed him by the arm and pulled him forward. "Come on! I promise I am not a bad hostess!"

He watched her opening the door and silently followed her in as his mind tried to find a reason for his actions. He knew the woman was trouble, he knew he would most likely regret it later. But, despite himself, he still let her order him around for reasons that did not make any sense to him.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll just be a minute." he heard her say as she turned on the light and disappeared into the bedroom.

Ulquiorra looked around the room. It was simple and clean with no particular decorations save for a picture of a young man in the middle of a book shelf. Orihime talked about her older brother back in Hueco Mundo, and he remembered her cast down look, the melancholy expression and his surprise that mostly everything that went wrong in her life was somehow connected to the hollows. And he was still a hollow, no matter how human he looked, a hollow whose path continued to stubbornly cross with this woman, even though every law of common sense told him to walk away.

Orihime finally came out of her room. "I'll go make some tea." She said and went into the kitchen.

Ulquiorra's gaze shifted to her body noticing that now she was wearing shorts and a tank top revealing more skin than he was prepared to look at. Begrudgingly, he followed after her.

"Thank you so much for walking me home." she said reaching into a cupboard, "If it wasn't for you, I'd be in trouble."

"You were walking alone at night. Why do humans purposely put themselves into danger?" he leaned against the wall putting his hands into the pockets. "I see it everywhere, yet I still do not understand it."

"I depends." Orihime replied thoughtfully, "Sometimes it is for the experience, sometimes it is just adrenaline, and sometimes it's curiosity. Consequences don't mean much if you live in the now."

"Is that how you are?" he asked quietly, "Acting on impulse and not caring what happens to you later?"

Orihime giggled. "Not all the time! I can be really careful. But then, there are times when I can't help myself. When my mind is made up, I just have to know."

She poured hot water into the cups then carried them to the table motioning for him to join her.

The question has been bugging her for weeks and she was always reluctant to ask him. But now, that they were alone together, she felt like it was the right time. "Do you ever think of what happened to us in Hueco Mundo?" She asked in hopes that he wouldn't brush her off.

"I don't spend my time dwelling on the past. It is irrelevant." he answered sitting down across from her.

"I knew it! For some reason I knew you would say something like that." Orihime gave a knowing smile, "I used to get so mad at you for this."

"Your reactions were rather….unexpected." he said remembering the slap.

"You said some very cruel things to me back then. And I acted without thinking." Orihime shrugged, "It felt good though."

Ulquiorra remembered the anger, the fire in her eyes, and his own lack of desire to punish her. "It was careless of you. If it was anyone other than me, you would've most likely gotten killed."

"Maybe, but you shouldn't have talked like that about the people I love." she mused.

Love, the blasted emotion that humans couldn't live without. The very thing the defined them and directed their lives, and something that even he couldn't escape from.

"For how long does it last?" he asked, "Love."

Orihime met his gaze. "It's not the same for everyone. Sometimes people mistake it for infatuation and it's short and fleeting. And sometimes it can last for a long time, even for a lifetime. It depends."

Her words were simple, yet they did not solve anything for him. In Las Noches, there was always a distant look of sadness on Orihime's face when she talked about Kurosaki Ichigo. At that moment, it was obvious that she cared about her friends, even despite his lack of understanding of the reason why. Yet, Ulquiorra doubted that back then Orihime's love for the boy was anything that he was going through right now. He crashed and burned, while there was nothing but melancholy on her face. And there wasn't even a trace of happiness when Kurosaki broke through the floor to rescue her. And after the war ended, her feelings did as well. Was that all there was to love?

"But why are you asking? It's not like you have any problems, do you? Rei is a nice girl and you guys look great together."

The woman knew nothing at all.

"You are lucky to have someone like her," Orihime continued completely oblivious to the storm her words were creating, "She is pretty, smart, sociable. And she likes you!"

Ulquiorra wanted to strangle her, to shake her until she stopped pretending that he did not exist. How could humans be so blind to what was right in front of them? Here she was smiling and talking to him completely oblivious to the way he was looking at her. And did she expect him to nod and pretend to agree with her ridiculous notions? Humans talked about love all the time, but have many of them actually experienced it? He's been living in their world witnessing them getting together as easily as breaking up and swearing it off like love was a disease. And right after Kurosaki Ichigo showed his inner beast to her, Inoue Orihime's so-called "love" quickly shattered and turned into nothing more but a bad memory. Were humans really this fickle?

"She likes what I give her." he said with indifference. "Other than that, she is perfectly fine without me."

Orihime looked at him in disbelief. "How can you say that? She wouldn't be with you if she did not like you!" she grabbed her cup and went to the sink. "When you have somebody, you should treasure them, instead of being so dismissive."

"You know nothing of this." Ulquiorra said coldly, then slowly got up and started walking towards her. Orihime felt herself tense at every step that he took but did not dare to look back.

"I have no one." she heard his voice above her ear. "And you know nothing of the things you pretended to feel all of those years ago. Just like every other human, you are changeable and weak, so is your idea of love."

Orihime spun around coming face to face with him. He looked down at her with the same arrogance and authority as he did back in Las Noches, and she felt vulnerable all over again. "I never pretended anything, " she managed in a shaky voice, "I was young and confused. And right now I am sure that once I meet the right person, I will know."

Ulquiorra looked unconvinced. He stood roaming over her, casting a shadow on her face, watching, waiting for something. Orihime felt like she was back in that room again, arguing, fighting with him, trying to stand her ground. Back then she was sure that she knew everything, that her faith would never shake. But right now she did not know at all. Despite this continuous tension between them, despite all of her emotions and his emptiness, it always seemed like Ulquiorra was ahead of her. Even after Ichigo's hollow completely slaughtered him, he still stood proud and unbroken as he took his last breath before turning into ash. Right at that moment Orihime felt like dying herself, while watching her friends being consumed by tragedy, witnessing her own failures, and seeing the being, who should've been the one broken instead of her, stand victorious over their tattered humanity that stabbed and maimed them into despair.

She spent years trying to convince herself that love was real, that she would eventually find it and be happy. But after what happened in Hueco Mundo, she felt tired and jaded. Jaded from the disillusionment and broken promises, jaded from losing faith in what she believed was true, jaded from her broken dreams. Ulquiorra might've been a hollow, he might've never known love and friendship, but he was always sure of himself and of what he wanted. And she respected him for it, and sometimes even wished to be more like him. If only their fates were different and they met under different circumstances, perhaps they would've been able to become friends, and maybe even…

"If you have nothing else to say to me, I am leaving." Ulquiorra interrupted her thoughts and turned away from her.

Without even thinking of what she was doing, Orhime caught him by the sleeve.

"What are you doing?" he asked tonelessly.

"You can't leave!"

In truth, Orihime felt ashamed, ashamed of the fact that despite the harshness in his words, Ulquiorra was absolutely right. She was weak, fickle and stupid. She had no idea of what real love was, and she felt drained. Getting over Ichigo was not difficult, and she did not love him anymore. But neither could she bring herself to love anyone else. Perhaps it was just an illusion that humans exaggerated into something unbelievable, perhaps it was more like a fantasy, a fairytale that did not even exist in this realm. And instead of living in that fantasy, she wanted to come out and feel what was real.

"You are right!" she said, "I talk about it like it exists, but I don't know anything. I can't even make myself to feel it for anyone! Am I just a fake? Is this all a lie?"

"It is not a lie." his voice was barely audible.

"How do you know?" she walked around to face him. "You are not even human and you always look like you know something that I don't! Even after you fought Ichigo for Aizen-"

"My battle with Kurosaki Ichigo was not for Aizen." he cut her off watching her eyes widen in surprise.

Ulquiorra realized that he would probably regret it later but he wanted her to know the truth, his reason for fighting on the dome. As soon as Ichigo appeared, everything that Aizen ordered instantly evaporated only to be replaced by one desire to keep the boy away from her. Even if Kurosaki mistook his actions for something else, even if there was a misjudgment on his part, at that moment Ulquiorra knew that if he did not beat him, if he failed to settle everything once and for all, she would be lost to him forever.

"Then why?" Orihime whispered in disbelief. "All of that rampage, why did it happen? Why did you fight him if it wasn't for Aizen?"

"I fought him because he was going to take something away from me."

Orihime was about to ask him another question but stopped. The intensity in his gaze sent a shiver down her spine but she couldn't look away. Despite wanting to know what that something was, somehow she already did and it confused her even more. Ulquiorra was always a mystery, a mystery that favored logic, yet none of this made any sense to her.

"But you are a hollow! You are not interested in those things!" she blurred out then immediately gave herself a mental kick, "I mean, you are obviously interested in those things, but you were never interested in _me_!"

Ulquiorra frowned and took a step forward watching Orihime gasp in surprise. He wasn't sure whether it was anger or disbelief, but he felt like shutting her up and making it clear once and for all how he felt about her, so she would stop spouting ridiculous ideas and pretending he was still nothing but a hollow. Yet, he did not touch her and only stopped close enough for her to bend her head backwards to look at him.

"Despite of what you think of me," he whispered leaning forward, "I am still a _man_."

There was something strange in the way he said it. It sounded like Ulquiorra wanted to convince her of something other than what she already knew, for her to see a different side of him. Indeed, he was a man, but in Las Noches his masculinity remained unnoticed behind the paleness, deceit, and war. And Orihime never gave it much thought that he was capable of desiring anything at all. Yet, here he was in front of her, still the same person, but somehow different with the stubborn harshness in his frown and the hard outline of his jaw that suddenly made her feel very self-conscious.

Impulsively, Orihime reached out and grabbed his shirt pulling him forward. Their faces were only an inch away as she looked into the green abyss of his eyes before covering his mouth with hers. In an instant there were no Rei, Hueco Mundo, and the feelings of guilt that she would eventually have to face. It was just him, a monster in a form of a man who somehow made her feel human again.

Orihime moaned feeling his tongue slide inside her mouth sending strange sensations to the pit of her stomach. She put her arms around his neck pressing herself closer to him. And as soon as she did, Ulquiorra lifted her off the floor letting her wrap her legs around his hips. _Are you afraid?_ He asked her once. And now she knew why she said "no". It wasn't his presence and his brutality or the continuous indifference that hid everything else. That never terrified her as much as her own weaknesses. And right now she was afraid of herself and the things she would allow him to do, the things that she wanted him to do, and the feeling of emptiness that he would leave behind as soon as he stepped outside. Orihime never told him, and neither did she dare to admit it to herself, but Ulquiorra was like another part of her, the darker part who always knew what went on inside her heart without her having to utter a single word, what she wanted, and how to make her whole again. It was already evident in Las Noches where everything that she thought about herself turned out to be a lie, revealing something completely different which left her terrified. Back then Orihime thought that she was betraying someone by sympathizing with him. She felt hideous and dirty and tried to disguise it under the usual mask of cheerfulness. But not anymore. This was her true self that she should've accepted long ago. It only took one word, one look from him to break down her barriers and to set her free. And she would allow him to do whatever he wanted as long as he kept this feeling alive.

Ulquiorra set her on the table sliding one hand under her shirt and Orihime tightened her legs around him, feeling his hardness pressing against her as he lowered his mouth to her neck. Even for a moment, even if it wasn't love, she would let it happen. She would allow him to take something away from her that she was supposed to treasure until that fabled special moment. But in truth, Orihime already knew that she was only fooling herself, living in an illusion while her life was passing her by, while _this_ was passing her by. And even if it wasn't like she had imagined, even if it would be all over tomorrow, it was still better than pretending to live and hiding herself behind the façade of mock happiness.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Ulquiorra opened his eyes, slowly realizing that he was still in her room and in her bed. As the last of his drowsiness wore off, he sat up and looked out of the window seeing that it was almost dawn. What would she say to him when she woke up? Would she smile modestly and thank him for the time they spent together? Would she continue pretending that he was with Rei and treat him like an acquaintance? Unacceptable. He was not her escape route from depression and the memories of Hueco Mundo. He would not allow her to think of him as nothing more than that. Ulquiorra did not want her gratitude and the pseudo friendship she was offering. He did not want her sympathy and understanding that he suffered too. He wanted Inoue Orihime to love him, to need him, to want him. Just like he loved, needed, and wanted _her_.

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration letting it drop on his bent knee. Realizing his feelings wasn't the worst part of it; he could've still ignored them and moved on with his life. He was always good at pretending. But, realizing what he actually _wanted_ out of this mess made his hair stand on edge. Pining after a woman and acting like a lovesick fool was not for him, especially if that woman had no desire to love him back. Still, here he was, a former Espada, what a joke, ready to hand himself over to _her _for the sake of an emotion. He knew that coming to her apartment was a mistake; he knew that she would suck him in and he would not be able to resist it. And he was already getting edgy as he saw her coming out of her bedroom wearing those outrageous garments, and making him stand rooted in place as his reason and emotions waged an unseen war. Then she said that nonsense about love and how she would feel it for some fool, or _the right person_ as she skillfully worded it, and something snapped. Was the woman completely blind to everything around her? Yes, he wanted to know about this love, to understand the limit to this insanity that completely pulled him in without so much as a warning, but what he did _not _want was for her talking about loving another. Yes, he was selfish. He was always selfish, even when he watched her in Hueco Mundo casting sad looks and telling him about hearts and friends and how they came to save her. Nobody could save her from him and he did his worst to prove it to her. And he was also selfish when he drew his sword at Kurosaki Ichigo after he broke through the floor. And he was selfish now because he wanted to share her with no one.

But the woman was strong. Despite everything that he told her, she was still bold enough to grab him and pull him into a kiss. That's when he felt his control slipping, yet it also made everything clear and he finally understood what he wanted from her. But, there was also the bitter truth that these feelings were only his and she might never return them. If that happened, then maybe, for the sake of keeping his sanity, one day his love would be able to subside, but, right now he wanted her, all of her, without holding back, without reservations. He wanted it all and he would never settle for less, not with her.

Ulquiorra turned his head looking at Orihime's sleeping figure. She had her back to him with her hair spread on the pillow and a thin sheet barely covering her curves. Inconceivable. Even in her sleep the woman had the capacity to arouse him. He closed his eyes remembering the events of just a few hours ago when he twisted his fingers through those locks pulling on them and watching tiny drops of sweat making them cling to her skin. Just a few hours ago he traced his mouth down her neck never stopping there, and she looked at him with longing and desire, and moaned his name as soon as he gently bit her soft skin. Last night she offered herself to him and gave him something that nobody else would ever have and he snatched it like it was his for the taking. Perhaps, another man would've been reluctant to do this, he would've been more sensitive and understanding of a girl with so little experience, but Ulquiorra wasn't that man. He wasn't a gentleman and he wasn't kind. He knew what he wanted and he wanted _her_, never looking back, regretting nothing.

But Orihime did not feel the same, and he understood it cursing her for having so much power over him, yet, she still gave him the one thing that no other man would ever possess. And Ulquiorra felt a strange sense of pride by taking it from her. It was probably petty of him to gloat, she still wasn't his, but it gave him certain satisfaction hearing her groan in pain as he pushed himself inside of her for the very first time. He hurt her, but then the pain was gone followed by slow and steady rhythms making her grab on to him, digging her nails into his skin, and whispering his name as he increased his pace. She arched and sighed squeezing her legs tighter around him, and he kept thrusting and kissing and touching her until she begged him for release. For just that one precious moment he was the only thing she saw and clung to. For just one instant, he was her god, her savior, her everything.

The sun finally rose sending faint rays of light to illuminate the room. It was his cue to leave and Ulquiorra quietly got up picking up his clothes scattered on the floor. Undoubtedly, she would think of him when she woke up but he would not be here for her convenience. Despite his fears and doubts, and the creeping thoughts that told him to stay and to make sure that she knew whom she belonged to, the woman had to make the decision on her own. He couldn't force her even if he wanted to. She had to come to him willingly wanting and longing even if it was a fraction of what he felt. Would she regret it or seek him out even more? Would her feelings change? He did not know. If somehow she still refused him even after what transpired between them tonight, then he would release his hold on her. Despite his passions, he had no intention of forcing her, although the possibility of rejection was infuriating. But if Orihime decided she wanted to continue for the reasons he very much desired, she knew where to find him. And when she did, he would lay out his terms leaving no more room for speculation.

* * *

Waking up in an empty bed certainly did not fix the feeling of anxiety when she found out that he was gone. And they only kept piling up as days and night followed without so much as a phone call or a ring on the door. But what did she expect? A warm reception? Kissing and snuggling after the night that culminated the loss of her innocence would've been nice, and something like that would've probably happened with a normal guy. But Ulquiorra wasn't normal and neither was he nice. He made her hot and cold, shiver with pleasure, beg for mercy, and experience something that she could not explain with words. Despite his usual distant attitude, last night she saw the kind of fire that he had never shown her before. And he knew exactly where to touch her. And touch her he did, and kiss her and…. _Oh lord._ Orihime covered her face with her hands feeling the familiar sensation rise in her stomach.

That night at her apartment, Orihime wanted to ask him a lot of things, make everything clear between them so there would be no more misunderstandings, yet her resolve gave out the moment he came to stand behind her, having her feel his breath on her neck, sending strange sensations down her spine. And when she turned around, he stared at her with those pools of green that she wasn't able to look away from. There was something strange in the way he looked at her. She couldn't quite tell whether it was anger or lust, but it made her shiver with anticipation wanting to reach out for more.

Yet, there was also something that she couldn't quite explain. He hated her and loved her with enough vehemence to leave a trace of doubt that there might've been something that she missed, something that she should've seen from the start. That, perhaps, his guise of coldness and resentment meant to send her a different message. It was difficult to conceive that his hatred would lead him to her door and allow him to touch and kiss her with such fervor. All kinds of thoughts started to find their way into her head, speculations of a mystery that she had yet to solve. Could it be that he actually...?

"Hey you!" she spun around seeing Rei walking into her direction.

"Long time no see!" the brunette said cheerfully, "How have you been?"

Orihime felt a pang in her chest, the feeling of guilt that was bound to happen after the cobwebs blew away and she started thinking clearly again. This was her friend and she betrayed her, she was the other woman, the traitor, someone that she never thought she would ever become. What if Rei found out about what happened with Ulquiorra? What if he told her everything? He wasn't the one to beat around the bush and Orihime dreaded the idea that he would decide to come forward with this. There was no plausible explanation to excuse any of it and she had no idea how to justify herself, but Rei didn't seem angry and just stood there grinning at her.

"I am ok." Orihime tried to put up a smile.

"You look kind of out of it. Want to do something after class?"

"No, I can't. Finals are coming up so I need to study."

"Don't you know how to have any fun?"

"Hey! I have fun. I just don't want my grades to drop. And you should do the same."

"Meeh, you're such a spoilsport." Rei said opening her cell phone. "Let's see if Ulqi—" but changed her mind and put it back into her pocket.

"What's the matter?" Orihime asked.

"Forget him, I'm gonna ask someone else."

"Won't Ulquiorra get angry?"

"Yeah, whatever."

Orihime gave her a puzzled look.

"He barely calls me. I haven't heard from him in over a week. I don't know what he does and where he goes. This is getting ridiculous."

"I'm sorry." Orihime's voice was close to a whisper. "Is there anything I can do?"

"I don't know." Rei shook her head, "The guy is hot and everything, but I just don't think there is anything here." she placed her hand on her chest. "Maybe he just went out with me on a whim, to see what happens."

"But you still like him, don't you?"

"Hm…" Rei looked at her curiously, "You are asking an awful lot of questions, what's with you?"

"Nothing," Orihime shook her head with more excitement than she had hoped to show, "You're my friend and I'm just worried about you."

"Well, that's cute. But there is nothing to worry about. I'm still not sure what I'd do about that jerk, but if this continues I might just…" she trailed off looking into the distance. "Hey, gotta go!"

Orihime watched her run off and join another group of people, then playfully smack some guy on the shoulder. Perhaps Rei was starting to give up on Ulquiorra and move on, and maybe she wouldn't be completely heartbroken if she found out that her friend betrayed her. Orihime contemplated about all sorts of possibilities in hopes that her relationship with Rei would remain unspoiled, yet she was still unsure about what to do with Ulquiorra. Her emotions were pulling her into many different directions. She wanted to confront him, yet she wanted to keep her dignity and not come across as clingy and needy, turning herself into someone he would despise. But his silence hurt her, adding to her insecurities and the idea that he had forgotten her.

_Argh!_

She had to snap out of it. There was probably an explanation for all of this. Maybe it would clear out later, at a better time. Right now she needed to concentrate on school and her studies and passing this term. Ulquiorra wasn't her captor anymore, so there wasn't a reason for her to feel nervous, yet...

Orihime clutched the strap of her school bag as she slowly approached the classroom, then, after finally releasing a shaky sigh, walked in expecting a pair of icy green eyes to meet hers. But, he wasn't there. More students poured in and another ten minutes passed, and there was still no sign of Ulquiorra.

"Have you seen the guy who sits next to me?" she asked one of her classmates.

"You mean Schiffer? Yeah, I heard he was in the science department."

"But we have a paper due today!"

"Maybe he turned it in early?"

Orihime shook her head in exasperation remembering herself fret all day over facing him again, and thinking of what to say to him, and he wasn't even here. Great.

The entire class was spent looking at her watch, impatiently tapping her foot, and doing anything but paying attention. It was a review session and she should've been more productive, but Orihime couldn't take her mind off of him. And worst of all, she really wanted an excuse to go see him.

Finally, the professor announced an early dismissal and passed out the review sheets. Mechanically, Orihime took two and gave the rest of the pile to the next student. Surely Ulquiorra needed to know what was going to be on the test, right? Then, she quickly stuffed her things into the bag and walked out of the classroom.

The science buildings were not very far away and with every reluctant step Orihime felt her resolve crumbling. Was she trying to get the truth out or to impose herself on him? What if the answer was already there after he hasn't contacted her since that night? When guys did it, that usually meant trouble, didn't it? But Ulquiorra wasn't like any of the other guys, was he?

"You are skipping class."

_Thump._

Orihime stopped and turned her head to the side noticing Ulquiorra standing several feet away from her. That is what you get for not paying attention to what goes on around of you.

"I am not, the class ended early." she said trying to hide her shock, "And, look, I have a review sheet to give you for the final." she clumsily reached into her bag getting out a semi crumpled paper.

Ulquiorra started walking towards her with slow purposeful steps finally coming to stand in front of her as she held her breath watching him close the distance. Orihime felt giddy, excited, nervous, and worried altogether. Everything that she wanted to tell him suddenly evaporated leaving her mind completely blank, and she wasn't even upset anymore, just happy to see him. Yet, he did not seem pleased at all.

Ulquiorra took the paper from her. "Is this all?"

"Yes… I mean no. Is everything alright? Do you want to…ah….talk?" she asked in a jittery voice.

_Woman, do you honestly believe everything is alright?  
_

He looked at her with his usual scowl then turned around and started walking. "Come with me." He ordered over his shoulder.

"What's going on? Where are we going?"

"You said you wanted to talk."

"I know! But where are you taking me?"

"To a more private place. I do not want to be interrupted."

"We are at school. There isn't a lot of privacy here."

"Most of the classes have been dismissed early. The rooms will be empty for the rest of the day."

Without another word she followed him into the building only to see him stop at the first door and loudly open it for her. There was something strange about his behavior, he looked almost agitated and Orihime decided not to say anything and walked in only to hear him slam the door behind them. He threw his school bag on the nearest desk and looked at her putting his hands into his pockets.

Orihime ran a nervous hand through her hair then put her bag down as well. Ulquiorra did not move, but continued looking at her as if expecting an explanation to some unseen problem. What in the world was the matter with him?

"What were you doing in the science department?" she asked trying to keep her voice steady.

"Researching different majors."

"Oh, really? Are you thinking of changing yours?"

"Perhaps, I haven't decided yet."

"You always had a knack for complicated subjects. I'm sure you will do great."

"Are you quite finished with the small talk?" he asked taking a step forward.

Orihime caught her breath. There was something definitely off about him. Despite his normal cool demeanor, she noticed it in his eyes. There was no indifference in them, no coldness, but a strange spark of silent fury.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Are you quite finished with the small talk?"

A resolute step and he came to a full stop looking down at her with what seemed like his usual sternness. But his eyes told otherwise. There was nothing usual in the flames hidden there, seizing the moment, calculating their next move. Orihime stood both mesmerized and terrified as her mind wondered what kind of malady could've caused this.

Carefully she stretched her arm forward. "What is the matter? Are you feeling alright?"

"In a manner of speaking." Ulquiorra answered dryly.

"What does that mean?" she asked trying to calm her misgivings. His strange game of words confused her. _Are you unwell?_

"Are you meaning to tell me that you don't know?"

Mistaken by the message in his vague response her mind settled to make the first move and she boldly stepped forward to meet his previous advance. Ulquiorra frowned at her audacity, but Orihime did not notice. Silently, she came face-to-face with him and placed one palm on his forehead, another on hers.

"Strange, you don't feel hot." she declared innocently.

Her invasion sent a jolt through him making his eyes slightly widen in surprise. But Orihime was pleasantly preoccupied with the task at hand, completely oblivious to the outcome of her action.

The woman had no idea what she was treading on. And he meant to put a stop to this atrocious bravery before the strings of his resolve started to get undone. Wordlessly Ulquiorra took his hand out of his pocket and slowly brought it up to grab her wrist but quickly let go as soon as she moved it down to her side.

"You are not sick." Orihime announced after her hand was released.

_Indeed. Should I attempt to strangle you until you get to the point? _

His silence made her worry once again. Orihime looked to the side biting the corner of her lower lip in nervous apprehension. He wasn't speaking or even moving, but just stood there devouring her with his gaze, waiting for something inexplicable to happen.

But she was the one who asked him to talk. Perhaps he wanted a clarification?

"I was really hoping you would be there after we…" she stopped as a blush crept on her cheeks. "Because it was my first time!" she continued rapidly, "And when I found out that you were gone it made me feel…." her eyes quickly returned to his, "Why didn't you call me for so long? Surely you still didn't think of me as badly as you used to?"

The corner of his mouth curved into what could've been a grin. So, she thought of him, it sounded like she even missed him, and now she demanded an explanation in return. Ulquiorra couldn't help feeling arrogantly satisfied over this curious development. However, this was still nearly not enough to compensate for all of the inexcusable delay.

"Ulqui-?"

"Do you honestly believe I would hate you and still come to your bed?"

"Well, I don't know!" she answered haughtily, "I thought about it a lot, because it didn't make sense. But then you just disappeared and I didn't know what to believe anymore. What were you thinking leaving me like that?"

Ulquiorra fought the impulse to shove her against the wall and erase every shred of doubt about his intentions, to make her lose every last bit of sanity as his skillful hands punished her entirely and made her regret this wait. But, instead, he swiftly moved forward making her jump at his sudden action and step backwards only to have her back hit the wall. His eyes were transfixed on her face, watching, remembering, drinking in every detail that he had missed since he left her - her mouth, her lips, her eyes, her radiance and warmth, everything about her that prompted the well-familiar ache inside his chest. And then _that_ started to surface, something that was present even before the realization of love, something that he tried to suppress for so long as he knew it would be his undoing, it almost was before. And now it was kicking, and screaming, and begging him to release it to the surface. But clinging to what resolve he still possessed, Ulquiorra did not touch her but stopped just an arm's length away.

Perhaps he should've been clearer when he saw her last and made sure she knew the implications of their encounter. Instead, he absurdly relied on a belief that he stirred some emotions within her that would lead her back to him. But, the woman still inexcusably hesitated, and he was done waiting. This transgression could not be tolerated any longer, not until she told him what he wanted to hear, not until she crushed the doubts that have been poisoning his mind since their last meeting. Like little bugs, these thoughts crawled into his head stirring unwanted feelings, eating at his self-control, unraveling a hidden menace.

_The right person_ wasn't him, and he still hadn't forgotten. However, before he made his demands known, some clarification was in order.

"Woman, did I ever show any signs of contempt when we were together?"

Orihime stared at him in puzzled bewilderment. But he remained unyielding to her wide-eyed countenance, watching her every move, waiting for an answer. And a second later she shook her head "no".

"But," she exhaled sharply, "when I came to talk to you that one time, you seemed angry by the fact that I revived you and even told me to leave. But then we…" she paused in embarrassment, "…and after that you didn't even call me and I didn't know what to think anymore!" Another awkward pause followed, "When we were together it didn't seem like you hated me at all, it seemed that maybe you even started to…" _… like me. _She couldn't bring herself to utter the words under his rigid stare.

"Say it." he ordered. Surely his feelings couldn't have been any more obvious to her perceptive nature.

"I am not sure. I don't want to be presumptuous. What if I am wrong?"

Ulquiorra showed no inclination to answer the question. He wanted _her_ to say it, _her_ to acknowledge it, _her_ to accept it. Perhaps it was wicked of him to subject her to such methods, but he had waited for far too long to have it any other way.

The prolonged silence and his close watch indicated insistence that she could no longer ignore.

Orihime straightened her composure putting her troubling thoughts in order. "I could be wrong," she started carefully, "But is there maybe, possibly, a chance that you might like me? Or am I crazy for thinking that?"

"No, you are not." he answered quietly. "But you are mistaken to believe that it ends with _like_."

She blinked twice before his response registered. _Mistaken to believe that it ends with __like__._ Did he mean there was more? Another four letter word appeared in her mind but she did not dare to say it.

Ulquiorra noticed a puzzled frown appearing on her face and his expression hardened. Did the woman still question him?

"Are you meaning to tell me that you…that you…love me?" the four letter word was said in a whisper riddled with uncertainty.

Ulquiorra's eyes narrowed. "You seem to be shocked by this revelation. Why?"

Orihime gave a soft sigh. "Because I never thought that you could possibly…" she stopped for a moment to let it settle in, "Does it mean that you never really hated me?"

"I am surprised you would still ask me that question. Have I not made it obvious enough that it was not so?"

"Perhaps." Orihime said averting her eyes as the recollections of his previous actions started to surface, when he told her to leave his room and then never showed up after spending the night at her apartment. And then she remembered her hurt, frustration, and the troubling thoughts that refused to leave her alone. It was so cruel of him to do this when she was only trying to find out what was wrong. "But, you do not treat the people that you love this way. I've done nothing to you, and you hurt me, deeply, and made me believe things that were not true. And after we… I started thinking that just maybe it wasn't true, and then you disappeared making me doubt you again."

With those words she grabbed her bag and turned away to leave, but Ulquiorra was quicker. Before Orihime took another step, she felt a strong hand grabbing her arm and yanking her backwards. A second later she was pressed against him, breathing into his neck, feeling his increasing heartbeat echoing hers.

"Stop." He said in a hashed whisper releasing his hold and gliding his hand down her back to her waist.

Ulquiorra knew why she was angry. His earlier treatment of her was less than kind, yet at that time he deemed it necessary. She was getting under his skin faster than he could control it and he did not know how to stop it. The only way to keep her at bay was to push her away and to make her believe that he wanted nothing to do with her. Feigning indifference wasn't difficult, she was still naïve, and it worked like a charm. But then, everything suddenly started to change between them and he no longer wanted to be without her. Yet, the woman still remembered it and now she demanded atonement.

_As you wish._

Orihime stood motionless against him, his chest rising and falling against hers, one hand was on her waist and another moving around her back in a soothing motion. Was this his way to make amends? His mouth was close to her ear, his breath on her skin sending tiny goose bumps down her neck, and then she felt his hand slide up to her nape squeezing it slightly in a gentle caress, and the remains of her anger chipped away. So this was his love — powerful, dangerous, unpredictable. Yet, he knew no other way. Her common sense told her to run, as his passion would probably consume her. But her heart told her to wait, to accept his challenge, and to show him that love was kind. Then, her reason threatened that he was just a replica of a man who wasn't a man, but the heart bellowed with absolute finality that he was a man like no other. And no matter who he was, his love was absolute and it was all for her.

"Do you regret it?" he spoke softly into the silence and she knew that the question held a deeper meaning than just inquiring about that night. Her feelings were still in question.

"I do not." she responded with all honesty through the flood of her jumbled emotions. And it was the truth.

Yet, something was still amiss. "But what about Rei?" Orihime added with reluctance.

She felt him release a shaky sigh then finally pull her away from him with her back now against the wall.

"There is nothing between us. I have no feelings for her and she has none for me."

"But you were dating."

"A superficial fling with no attachment. And we haven't spoken in over a week."

Somehow she knew that he would not bother making excuses. "That is a little cold, but I'm glad that she wouldn't get hurt. I would hate that." Orihime said with relief.

Ulquiorra did not answer, and she lowered her head suddenly feeling very nervous. He would inevitably bring _that_ up soon enough.

"I want all or nothing." there was a resounding finality in his voice that left no room for negotiation.

And here it was. Orihime looked up fixing her eyes on his chest trying to avoid meeting his probing gaze. There was this look again that waited, expected, demanded her to speak, to utter the three little words that had enough power to humble even the proudest of the Espada. But not yet, she was still not ready to jump, not until she sorted through the cobwebs in her heart.

The feeling was strange, exciting, and a bit frightening. There were no words to express it, no definition to describe it. Everything was a giant mess of longing, desire and uncertainty. Yet, she welcomed this, but it was still too new to be attached to a label. And despite herself, Orihime wanted it to be _him_ to help her clear through the disarray of her emotions and set her mind into focus.

"Don't be angry." she spoke in a gentle voice, "I just….it's hard….I don't know if I…."

"Enough."

She flung her eyes to his in question. His expression was frozen in a stiff frown as he looked down on her.

"Please, I didn't mean to…"

Orihime did not finish as he pressed his palm to the wall next to her head and brought his face close to hers.

"I said, enough." he seized her with his stare, "No more."

And he truly had enough. Expecting her to feel the same was too much to hope for, but Ulquiorra remembered that night and what she did, and how she felt, and everything else blurred into a shadow. If he had to, he would burn her in agonizing lust if it meant she would see no one else but him, a petty and shadow desire based on that one twisted memory of the conversation that they had about _the one_ and the shackles of that emotion that spelled out his fate, all for this woman. This woman, who, ever since he met her, had a strange influence on him where he acted on impulse and desires rather than his untainted judgment. This woman, for whom he crashed and burned and fought and died, and forsook his duties and loyalties to his one master. All for this woman. This insufferable, amazing, beautiful woman who managed to push him to the brink of despair and then pull him out of it with just a touch of her hand.

"It is you." he murmured brushing his cheek against hers, "It is always you." he nuzzled her skin breathing into her neck. "Why does it always have to be you?"

He did not really expect an answer as the question was mostly directed at himself. She was beautiful, but there were plenty of beautiful women all around him. She was smart, but they were smart too. Women were everywhere and a number of them would've jumped at an opportunity to be with him, especially these human women who were so easy to manipulate. Yet, Ulquiorra did not notice any of them except for her. Ever since he first laid eyes on Inoue Orihime, there was something special about her that he couldn't quite explain. She had unusual powers and incessantly talked about her friends. Other than that, what could have possibly attracted him to her? It must've been something in her words, in the way her eyes softened when she spoke about her loved ones, or in the gentle look she gave him when they said their good-byes on the dome. And he was pulled against his will, reason, goals, completely consumed by her – her light, her love, her heart. And after she brought him back, it was still her. It was always her.

Orihime released a soft moan as her trembling hands came around his neck, tugging at his hair, pressing against him, breathing into his ear. He felt like something exploded inside as soon as her body moved against his. Ulquiorra took his hand off the wall and grabbed the back of her neck putting light kisses along the contours of her jaw, feeling her draw in sudden breaths at the new sensation. She purred, she moaned at the sweet torture he was delivering to her skin. Bringing his head back up he looked at her again. Her eyes were closed with a blissful smile dancing on her lips. The woman was practically melting in his arms without a care for the consequences of giving him such freedoms. Was it completely inconceivable for him to believe that there was something in her heart that prompted such a reaction? He knew lust, but pure lust lacked passion, it did not arouse emotion, it was fleeting and weak and just as quickly slithered away as it was satisfied. And even if she did not love him yet, Inoue Orihime's heart still fluttered, and yearned, and craved for that mysterious something that only he could provide. And it was reason enough for him to stir and twist and breath life into this sleeping entity as long as it was his to claim at the end. If he had to indulge her every whim, he would do it, if he had to drive her to the edge of sanity, he was prepared to if it insured that she would stay by his side forever. Because this was Orihime, the woman who inspired a new dream when he was consumed by despair, the woman who gave hope to his desolate existence. The same woman who now arched and moaned and grabbed at him the more he let his expert mouth wander.

He pulled her up against the wall letting her legs embrace his hips. They looked at each other, faces only a whisper away, until she cupped his face and planted a kiss on his lips, on his cheeks, on his chin. And it began. His body, mind, and soul roared, chanted, and repeated the three precious words hoping and pleading that somehow they would reach the deep recesses of her heart and return them to him in full. His fingers dug into her thighs pressing her harder against him, and then her mouth finally found his again inviting him in, lacing her tongue with his, twisting her fingers in his hair, pushing, and pulling, and throwing them both into oblivion.

Orihime groaned and flung her eyes open at the sudden increase of his movements. But Ulquiorra quickly silenced her surprise with slow torturous kisses down her neck, making her shock dissipate into raspy sighs of quiet bliss. She shivered, she burned, she lusted for everything about him as his body ground against hers, his mouth delivering excruciating wonders to her flesh, his hands firmly on her thighs, his heat pouring into her and carrying his love with it. And she felt it, tasted it, and locked a piece of it in her heart.

Whoever said that love was blind was truly wise. But she wasn't only blind, she was also cruel. Cruel, calculating, and merciless. Even the hardest of men could not escape from her claws. She toyed with his resolve, manipulated his deeply hidden emotions, and completely usurped his self-control leaving nothing but greed, greed and lust for _the one_. There was no self-preservation in love, no limit to how far she would go, no sanctuary. Surely that spelled out a man's doom, but despite her vices, love was also exquisite and graceful. And she carried a hint of hope for those who were looking. Love had the face of an angel, hair the color of sunset, and deep oceans of gray looking right at him. Her kisses were sweet and intoxicating, her words were like a soft lullaby, and her touch was a taste of heaven. Love was _her_.


End file.
